Ups and Downs

Our trip to my in-laws on Sunday went wonderfully. We all enjoyed it and I was truly in a good mood and had fun.  The spanking prior to going really put me in a good place emotionally.

But today, I was kind-of snotty on the way home from work today and I really disappointed my husband.  I think he is getting ready to punish me.  I was in a bad mood when I got in the car because I had a tough day, and I was short and sarcastic in our conversation.  I also was starving which always put me in a terrible mood.

He said, with a completely straight face and stern demeanor, "You know I am going to punish you for this behavior right?"  I kind of laughed, which is more of how our old dynamic was.  He didn't even crack a smile, which gave me butterflies.  In my head, I was wondering, is he really mad?  Is he really going to punish me? I also got a bit nervous, and could feel the adrenaline surge.  I apologized and then said, "So you aren't going to punish me right?" and he said (still straight faced), "No, I am."

This is a completely different dynamic.  I am excited that he is taking it seriously (clearly more seriously than I am because I sort-of scoffed about him actually really punishing me).  I am also a little scared.  And a little hesitant.

I trust him though.  I know he is reading and learning about this and I want to please him.